One Last Breath
by Moonchild10
Summary: Sometimes you don't realize how deeply you yearn for something 'till it's pulled away from your grasp, and it beomes too late........


Disclaimey! I own none of Jhonen's work, so shoot me! I'm totally depressed right now cause my cat died, so expect sadness! So much angst will there be! Mwa hahahahaha!  
  
This is focusing on Devi mainly, cause she rocks. Beware of tears if you are sensitive.  
  
*/*/*/*  
  
Devi slammed the door to her apartment angrily. She locked the many locks, and sank to the floor in despair. She lay there, staring at the ceiling in despair.  
  
"That's the last time I go on a blind date set up by Tenna!" Devi said, her voice soft and tired. It was already late. The stars were beginning to show outside her apartment window. "No guy's ever gonna love me, or even like me, enough to stop being such a .......pigs," Devi muttered. Her date with Cory had been OK at first, but sort of fell apart when he vomited on a waitress. There was nothing much to do this evening.  
  
She went into the kitchen slowly, dragging her feet, and proceeded to make ramen noodles. As she began to boil the water, a loud 'Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!' sounded.  
  
"Sweet angry Jeezus! It's......the phone!" she gasped, giggling lightly. He always said that when she answered the phone, and now it was becoming almost subconscious.  
  
"Hello?' she asked, picking the purple plastic device up after entering the living room.  
  
"Hello, this is Withered Pines General Hospital," declared a sharp voice.  
  
"Yes, can I uh, help you?" Devi asked, dropping the stove mittens onto the carpet.  
  
"Is there a Miss.....Devi present?" asked the harsh voice again. It was a woman, with an obviously fake English accent.  
  
"Um, that's me," Devi said. What would a fucking hospital want with her?  
  
"You've been requested by a dying patient to pay a visit," the woman said.  
  
"Who?" Devi asked.  
  
"I have no idea. I'm only the phone service. Please be here as soon as possible, they say the guy sounded desperate," the woman said.  
  
Guy? Devi didn't know any guy who'd actually request her to visit before their deaths. For a while she'd been afraid it was Tenna who was dying.  
  
"Oh. OK," Devi said weakly, hanging up the phone with no goodbye. She stroked her magenta hair (presently in pigtails), a nervous habit she'd picked up from her mother in the few years before she'd passed away. 'Maybe I'll dye it again. It's been almost three months. But...nah,' Devi thought absentmindedly as she grabbed her coat. She put it on and left the building, after unlocking the many locks. She locked them again behind her. No point in taking chances. She got into her car.  
  
*/*/*/* Time later she got out of her car in façade of the hospital. She shivered. She hated hospitals. She entered the tall building. She received a guest's pass (talk about paranoid hospital staff) from a very distinguished old leathery woman at the front desk and was told the room number. She set out through the lemony fresh halls. Everything was white and clean. Devi hated when places were so overly neat.  
  
She finally reached the room (617) and entered quietly, wondering still who wanted to see her. She looked at the bed, and when she saw who was in it she nearly screamed. She was about to sprint right out the door, but she was curious as to what he would say. She stared at the form of Johnny lying on the bed.  
  
"Hello, Devi," Nny said, looking at her.  
  
"Nny-what the hell? You-what's going on? Why are you here?" Devi choked out all in one breath. She was so flabbergasted that she wanted to sit down, but the only chair was near Nny's bed, and she dared not go in close proximity to the maniac. He had tried to kill her, after all.  
  
"Death is coming. Closer every second. I'm dying. I just wanted to talk to you before," Nny said.  
  
"You're.......dying? But why? How?" Devi asked. She leaned up against the room's wall.  
  
Nny gave a slight idiotic grin. "I drank Windex. Lots of it. There's something in the mixture that is quite venomous to me in particular, and I think Windex is lethal in any case," Nny said calmly.  
  
"You drank Windex? You idiot! Did you think it was Kool-Aid or something?" Devi asked.  
  
Nny shook his head crazily. "No. I did it on purpose. Suicide. Most humane way, you see. Less blood if any," Nny said evenly.  
  
"Suicide? But why?" Devi asked.  
  
"I had to die. I must. If I don't, the world will profit considerably. I ruin all the things that could be great, tear apart all that is lovely. Raze all that could help me. I don't think I'm benefiting from living either. So much pain. It hurts so much, you see. I had to find away to get out of it," Nny said.  
  
"Why did you tell them to call me?" Devi asked. Her legs were tired. She finally gave in, and moved beside Nny's bed so she could sit in the chair.  
  
"Because I needed to talk to you. I was going to before I drank it, but I realized that there was no way. You would hang up on me, or run away from me, or harm me in some way. But now, after I have drunk the poison and lie here defenseless, you won't run away, because you know I cannot hurt you now. I drank it, and then came here myself. They wanted to pump my stomach so I could be saved, but I refused. I want to die. But what I want to do last, is to speak to you," Nny said.  
  
Devi shook her head in disbelief. "Go ahead Nny. Speak away," Devi said. He was going to die. Inside, she felt what was cruelly a little relief. She wouldn't have to worry about him stalking her anymore. But she felt a little bit of grief also, because Nny wasn't all that bad. OK, so he'd tried to kill her, but she could forgive people.  
  
"Devi, I need to tell you some things. Please try to grasp them, though you could never actually grasp their full certainty. I know some of them will scare you. Devi, I'm sorry I tried to kill you. If I could go back in time now, I would change it all. I would never have tried.....please believe me. And there are other things you must know. It's been so long since I've felt real. The last time I believed there was something more than the pain I've always known.........was the last time I was with you. It.......scares me. There I'd been with so few emotions but sadness for so long, and you showed up for a few short hours, and turned it all around. It was almost like I was trapped in heaven back then....when we were together. But then I drew the knives, and it all turned to hell," Nny said slowly.  
  
"Nny, I really don't get it still," Devi said quietly, looking at the wall.  
  
"Devi, I'm going to tell you something. Please.........just don't run away. Try to understand what I tell you. I....." Nny said.  
  
"You what?" Devi asked edgily.  
  
"I love you," Nny said in a small voice.  
  
Devi nearly fell right out of the chair. "What?!" she asked in alarm.  
  
"I love you," Nny whispered, his eyes lowering to the tiles on the hospital floor.  
  
"But you-you tried to kill me and-you can't-you don't-how-?" Devi choked.  
  
"I tried to kill you, but I didn't mean it. You know I didn't. Some things are too deep for mere humans to understand, some feelings so divine that we can't quite comprehend what they mean, but luckily I realized what it was, finally. After some many sleepless nights, not what I sleep usually, I sat awake thinking of how you made me feel. About how I had a growing craving to be with you again, to feel something even tenuously like what I felt when I first spoke to you. Please try to understand, Devi. I'm in love. With you," Nny said quietly.  
  
Devi had no idea what to say. Here she was, sitting here, listening to a dying murderer pledge his love for her. And she could think of nothing to say. A cold-blooded slaughterer, a hardhearted contract killer, a hardnosed assassin, and she wasn't yelling at him. The man who'd tried to kill her, the man who'd kept her in hiding, the man who'd caused her so much paranoia, the man she'd been terrified of for quite a long time,.........................the man she...................................loved. She couldn't believe it. She had just realized it. Deep down in her secret self, she loved Johnny C. He'd tried to kill her, terrified her, did every thing a man could do to drive a woman away, and more, and she loved him. She dropped her head into her hands in anguish. She loved Nny. But she couldn't tell him. She had to let him die in peace. But she couldn't just not say it. She had to. She couldn't. She had to. But she couldn't.  
  
"I love you too," she whispered, almost against her will.  
  
"What?" Nny asked in skepticism.  
  
"I love you, too," Devi found herself whisper again. She picked up his hand in hers. "I love you, Nny," she said again. Nny stared at her. Devi couldn't believe herself. 'You can't love him,' a little voice in her head whispered. 'But I do,' she protested.......  
  
Next chappie soon. I'm not sure if I wanna make the end sad or not yet. Bye.  
  
~Moonchild  
  
-End Current Transmission- 


End file.
